Don't mind me as I ramble on about mindless things! ^^

Jane. Child of GOD. Slacker medic. Part-time 'housewife', full-time watcher of dramas and variety shows. Ex-handbeller, occasional cellist, casual pianist. Who knows what else?

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Just came back from church retreat....which was EPICALLY FABULOUS! It's just a weekend away to somewhere within 45min of city centre but it feels like you're far away from reality & a step closer to heaven. There were some problems just before camp, but they just showed that God is in control of EVERYTHING & the devil is powerless against such an AWESOME GOD. Maybe that's just my feeling about it all. lol. Whatever it is, ultimately it's not the location, accommodation, food or even the people there which is the determinant factor for a successful church camp/retreat; It's whether the Lord is present in our midst & His power evident in camp that should matter. As I've said before, it's just something I truly experienced during camp. ^^

Ok....I admit I enjoyed this year's retreat more than the last in spite of the lousier accommodation (read: last year's 5star lodge VS this year's scouts camp). Maybe it's coz I'm more involved this year (in worship & in leading a group); or maybe it's coz we're in less separate lodges than last year (so there's more interaction); or maybe coz I'm more familiar with more people there now as compared to last year when I was still quite new. Actually...it's probably coz I was AWAKE for more of the sermons this year ba! Lolol. Improvement is good. hahaha.

Now...it's just about putting it into practise! An out-pouring of God's love into the world. ^^

But...all good things must come to an end ba! And what is there to do when that happens? UNPACK. =S A tad annoying when you're tired, but it was pretty fun taking a break & reading all my random old letters/notes/messages in my 'little treasure box'.

It's nothing much really, just a normal container with LOTS of pieces of paper. If you're wondering if I throw messages/notes I get...the answer is nope. It's probably a very GIRL thing to write letters/messages to each other randomly and keep them. Letter-writing is a strange thing. When I have to write them, I can't really get started & find it a waste of my 'precious time', especially when I have to write for ALOT of people (so I don't leave people out unintentionally). BUT once I start writing, I just can't stop writing. LOL. And I don't believe in writing template messages....just don't bother writing if you're not gonna write a heartfelt one, coz it'll be a waste of your & my time. lol.

Actually....the letters I dread writing the most are those that I'm very close to & tell everything to them anyway. I can't write a generic one coz that's not what I want to say (& it's SO INSINCERE) but I have nothing much to say on those letters since I've already told them what I want them to know anyway. Seriously, just imagine writing to your parents if you see them everyday. *Haiz*

Looking at letters...now that's different. I like re-reading my letters! Triggers memories, strengthens synaptic connections and brings a warm fuzzy feeling! Some are pretty cute & unique, like the 'friendship cheque' & hand-drawn 'books'. Most of them are given on special occasions though, like during birthdays, exams, valentines (all from girls k. xD), christmas, farewell.....but all meaningful!

Then again...I only opened the small box (coz I wanted to put things in it)...maybe I'll read the HUGE letters (most of them the fruits of the combined effort of many people) another day. When I'm free (hahahaha.....so not gonna happen within these few months ba! lols).

As my friends all know, I get very distracted while mugging sometimes....so I go and look at random news on straitstimes.com. At least I will go back to mugging much sooner than if I were to go to bejewelled blitz, cartoon network or even youtube. HAHAHAHAHAHA....Anyway, this heading caught my eye: "If you study here, you're Singaporean". Very amusing....*clicks*, *watch*, *thinks: heck PBL*.

Interesting statement by MM Lee man...and it's not without truth! Yes yes, I DID watch the whole clip so I do know what I'm talking about & I have heard MM Lee's side of the story. Rather than saying that studying here makes people Singaporeans, I think it's slightly more accurate to say that GROWING UP in Singapore makes foreigners PICK UP SINGAPOREAN TRAITS. Well, that's just what I think...coz I'm one of these 2nd generation immigrants MM Lee was talking about anyway! LOLness.

Going by the strict definition of a Singaporean (Which is a person who has Singaporean citizenship, a Singapore passport, etc), I'm obviously NOT Singaporean. But, no one can tell the difference since I've grown up there & picked up the lingo, Singlish, mannerism, all that jazz. I guess that's what MM's talking about. BUT, looking at all the random comments posted on straitstimes whenever the article is about policies involving foreigners or "PAP praise articles" just makes me more than abit annoyed at the commenters. Seriously, must you SPAM the entire comment section about how your jobs are being stolen by foreign talent, how PRs should pay even more taxes, how the government loves PRs more than its citizens....If you have so much time to spam comments, why don't you use that time to do more productive things? Sheesh. It's not like being a PR is all good stuff...as per your claims in your comments. We pay the same amount of taxes too but don't get a whole bunch of benefits. *rolls eyes* I feel so welcomed man...(detect the heavy sarcasm :X)

This brings me to my point...what exactly does being a Singaporean constituent? And...is a PR who has grown up here be considered a Singaporean or a foreigner in a 'native' Singaporean's eyes. Yes....confused identity much.

Does being a Singaporean just mean having a pink IC? Or does it include the interesting stuff tweeted by sosingaporean....like..."When someone ask you what time is it? You will say, 'It's Tiger time!'" (I used to do that loads man....really lame hor!) It should go beyond your nationality ba...since no one can tell a PR (who's been living here since young) apart from a Singaporean. Shouldn't the question of "where do you come from" all boil down to where & who one can identify with and the environment one is familiar with? Where is 'home' anyway?

Shall end on this random open-ended note for now...too tired to think. (And this post has the words MM Lee in it, so cannot say so much, sekali the army boys in the security unit -or whatever it's called- read this & laugh.)

Honestly. What the heck am I doing up at this kind of unearthly time? Yes...I've already finished my work, played waaaaaay too many games (cartoon network is terribly addictive. :X), gone on to do random things, read boring notes....AND I'M STILL NOT SLEEPY.

Bad bad sign....just means I'll crash tomorrow.

Hahahaha...but I really like studying in the middle of the night when everyone else is asleep. All you can hear is the wind howling, rain beating against the window pane, the sound of keyboard typing and (if I were in S'pore) the odd cat-fight (I really mean real cats fighting. *REEEAOW!*). Such peace and tranquility....^^ Ohhh...and here's a randomly apt song I stumbled on...

不想睡 -- 梁静茹 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=daQl7VDz_P4&feature=related)

宇宙中默默自转的星球
暝暝之中你要现在遇见我

*我看过瞬间燃烧的花火
昙花一现之后悄悄的坠落
我醉过斟下冰凉的美酒
醒来以后还有你在陪着我

**那种微酸的滋味 有点微醺的感觉
梦做一半比较美 爱我的人还没睡

Chorus: 不想睡我要陪你一整夜
我要幸福的催眠 天旋地转的晕眩
不想睡我要陪你一整夜
我要今天的完美 不要明天的幻觉

*
**
Chorus

雪花盛开在风中 是你紧紧抱着我
泪光在闪动 一闪一道彩虹

Chorus

lalala~~~

I said before that I blog as a reward right? Soooo....my holiday hasn't been THAT unproductive after all. *YAY!!* ^^ More productive than last year at least, when I didn't even manage to finish one objective. Hahaha...I'm back North again, where it's cold & icy....and school's started. *Sigh* And...that's my personal update for today!

I've just been reading alot of random things online recently and I'm just wondering....do we really let other people know a wee bit too much about our inner thoughts and how safe is it to do that? That statement actually makes this post pretty paradoxical since....I'm revealling my thoughts about this matter. LOL.

Just take my blog as a good example...ANYONE CAN READ IT. And...I won't be the wiser! This fictional 'you' could be stalking my blog, find out alot about me, what I did, how I feel....especially if they bothered to read some of the things I've written in the past. Sometimes, I'll tell people things and realise they already know it! Other than blaming the fact that I live a boring life (and therefore have a tendency to retell 'interesting' stories), I suspect that people do read it off here. Or...I've got a really bad memory. If that's the case, you're all very much welcomed to group me in the same category as your grandparents who tell the same stories again & again that start with "when I was your age ahhhhh......." HAHAHAHA

The other thing would be networking sites like fb & twitter. Yes yes yes...I DO use both of them, but I'm less active on fb now & even less active on twitter. My mum ALWAYS tell me to be careful of fb & what pictures people post online....you'll never know who might see them. It doesn't really help that it annoys her to no end when people put pictures that take with her on fb and other random people see it. Hahahahha....I'm just hoping it doesn't come back to haunt me in the long run, and I'll be content. Not like I do things & take pictures with stuff that might be illegal or something. *crosses fingers & hopes anyway*

As for twitter....I merely use it to FOLLOW people. Not like that AA person who got a T-grade for Os...what the heck was he thinking anyway!?! Or...was he even THINKING then? LOL. To have to resit a major exam all over again coz of 1 act of playfulness is a sheer waste of time man... *shakes head*

Hmmmmm....should I just do a random social experiment & ask whoever reads this to write a short tag on my board? NAHHHHHHH.....since it doesn't matter anyway. Like what I read from a random newspaper article on diary-writing: "Most diarists write primarily for themselves of course. But few of them are unmindful that others might be interested..." HEHE...very true. ^^

Sunday was meaningfully spent in church with the Christmas outreach gathering & baptismal service. ^^ Ok..I admit, we went to the Gallery of Modern Art in the morning instead, just to have a good look around. But twas fun and meaningful just reflecting on the significance of Christmas and all in church. And yep, I kinda dragged addy to prepare my veggie dish with me :p hehehehe...

Then...Monday was spent walking around west end. A kind of circle from uni to kelvingrove museum to morrisons and then back home again!! Oooo..my 1st time in hunterian museum & my 3rd time in kelvingrove museum ^^. Yeahh...I just realised that glasgow doesn't offer much by the way of tourist attractions, especially if you're cheapskate & do not have a car. HAHAHA. But it was fun anyway, and the streets were blanketed with white snow, making the place seem purer than usual =D And definitely more desolate (esp with everyone hiding in their homes, away from the cold).

Ooooo...then it was time for some SERIOUS BAKING at home! 5 baked goods within 6hours plus dinner. O.O WE OFFICIALLY RAWK! I half annoyed addy with my 'amazing discovery' of the hidden cake tin & pie dish though...OOPS! teehee...they were hidden in the deep recesses of the bottom cabinet, anyone could have forgotten their existence! *Jane continues to attempt arguing her way out of this mess* We made apple pie, cookies, banana cake, strawberry cheesecake & lemon drizzle cake in that order...all very yummy!!!! heh. Was a chore to carry it down to lincoln though. :P I love cheescake soooo...I thought the cheesecake was the nicest! (even if it barely survived the journey down south. *ouch*) mmmmm....looks nice right! :9Both of us left glasgow the next day though...1 long long day with lots of snow related rail problems. Heh...at least I'm down here at my aunt's place in 1 piece, nice, warm and fed! (And slightly more productive than last year =D)

~~

Now on to part 2 of this post! Heh....(Jane's annual tradition to write) Random reflections on the year! To be absolutely truthful, 2010 was abit of a blur with no single memory popping out and yelling at me to write it down. Not too sure if this is a combination of too much (last minute) work to do in school, too many dramas watched, too happening life or age catching up on me. Hahahaha...just joking about the last reason!! =D

What I do know is that I could have done better in so many ways in 2010...like be more hardworking, watch less shows, revise more, stop procrastinating, be closer to God...the list could go on forever. So...these are probably the lessons I'll take into the new year. Well...I've already watched less shows than last academic year and I'm a wee bit more hardworking now. Hehe...as for my walk with God...it could always be better, but I'm glad to be more involved in church now! =D

As for things I would like to change about 2010....I don't know, maybe study abit more? Hahaha...that and to stop obssessing over the most RANDOM things. And I'm not just talking about my kpop cuties and asian dramas. Hahaha...don't think I'll change much lah. Twas a pretty good year by my standards. I've finally put away whatever made me an emo-kid for the longest time, got more interested in what I'm studying (interested enough to not watch dramas and actually do more work anyways), achieved a good enough work-play balance and basically feel content with where God has put me. It's quite a good feeling...just knowing that I'm in safe hands and that I couldn't have asked for better stuff. Ohhhh...and I saw kpop stars LIVE. hahah...yes yes, you can DIAOOOOOO me now.

Hmmm...so what did I do? Basically made a couple of good strong friendships here (and mugged. and played) till june....then went back for summer holidays! Glad that I could maintain my friendships back home lah.....even though I couldn't really maintain my areas of service in church. What could I have done in those 3 months home anyway....errr...just help my ex-grp leader's group out with the cooking for family night! teehee. Andddd....it was back here to my new flat (LOVE IT) with a new flatmate (who is an absolute dear =D) and a new acadamic year (Love what I'm studying but wishing I had much more time & less peripheral activity). Ohhh...and though being in singsoc was a massively fun learning experience, I'm more than happy to pass on the baton to the juniors. 2nd year is....hard. honest.

ohhhh...and as for 2011....May it be one full of good surprises! Not like I know what the future holds; I'm just trusting that God will make it a great one XD

*phew* that was a really REALLY long post...time to sleep now!

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