blegh....
these past few days are blegh days. i predict that the next few days would be pretty bleghy....haha
the weather is blegh. it's soooooooooooooo HOT AND HUMID. my skin feels gross and sticky, even standing in the shade at the class-bench makes me sweat profusely. oh, and the weather is giving me a minor pimple outbreak.
studying for h3 is blegh. it's giving me a headache. ARGH.
practice tomorrow is blegh. i'm not like nicole who loves her cca to bits. WHY OH WHY OH WHY MUST THEY BE SO 'ANTI-CLIMAX'????? =( the fact that there's bio lecture after csm isn't helping. jane's a sad girl.....=( everyone can play except me. =( i bet the rest will zhao super far after bio then jane will eat lunch by her lonely self.....=(
set me free.....from myself
POSTED BY mysticmalady AT 10:26 PM |
stupid napfa
once a year, i subject myself to such torture. yes, it's the stupid napfa. i wish they would just excuse the weak and unfit, then maybe i wouldn't have to suffer so much under the mercy of the government and teachers. hahahahahhaa. i really never exercise, so napfa SUCKS BIG TIME!
ok, maybe it's just that ONE component that i fear--standing broad jump. i jump and jump and jump and i still can't get a spastic C. i did get painful quads, so i walk down the stairs like an old woman (ie, groaning and complaining about the lack of lifts all the way) and i probably can't use the squat toilet for the next few days (not that i use it in the first place. hahahahahaha).
someone asked me to fill this place with philosophical stuff, but it's quite hard. i'm shallow, too bad. hahahahahaha. as in i CAN write philosophical stuff, but more often than not, it could turn out shallow or biased. so, i rather not embarrass myself. it takes longer to write cheem stuff too! hahahahah.
POSTED BY mysticmalady AT 9:50 PM |
some random musings....
my friend commented that i blog very regularly and thought that i'm quite free. hahahahhahaha....more like have a lot of things to do, but don't feel like doing it. XD jane is a lazy girl. i'm always using random excuses to justify my usage of the computer. ahahahaha. but i usually try to blog when i do use the com. it's an outlet for self-expression i guess. i think i'm a pretty introspective person, forever pondering about my life and all that. alot of things go through my mind thru the course of the day, just that i don't remember much of it. hahahaha....XP whatever makes it to my blog are just remnants of what i remember thinking about, of course with a lot of editing to make it less _____. i'm not about to reveal my innermost feelings on the internet, but this is as close as it gets. XP
argh....i'm suppose to study for h3 again. but it really really puts me to sleep leh! bio-related notes should be marketed as a cure for insomnia, it works as well (if not better) than any drug you can get over the counter. hahahahahaha...i'm being lame and exaggerating stuff again. but it's seriously super boring...=( why must i study it.......=( less than 2 wks to go....
oh...i like this emo song! but i'm not emo-ing k! i admit that the words are pretty straight forward and '白', but then again, my chinese isn't that good either. i like the tune =)
终于说出口-小宇你终于说出口 其实你早就已经不爱我
为什么要低著头 你知道这玩笑骗不倒我
可是这不是玩笑 是要逃避你离开我的理由
**我还能做什么 你已经不爱我
我一直都爱著你难道这还不够
我还要做什么 你才不离开我
我知道你已无心再继续看著我
一心想离开我
我终于也说出口 其实很爱你但从没认真说过
或许是我的错 多在乎你却只放在心中
不要问我为什么 因为爱你这就是我的理由
**没什么需要被原谅 我笑得有些牵强
你知道我总是能够假装不难过
oh 不想看你那么累 多希望再给我机会
颤抖著我的手握住的只是风
**一心想离开我
and you could hear the song here.....it's quite new i guess. kind of....but it's 1 of the more popular songs to k in taiwan.
http://www.qq163.com/song/6096/81182.htm this is utterly random, but his dreadlocks are quite weird though, looks like he hasn't washed it for days. hahahahahahahah
很乱....他是在说我吗？每当我看到_ _ _ _ _，满脑子就会想到这个问题。那时候是这样子，现在还是一样。我曾答应自己不能再为了cough cough 事情难过，也不要想那么多，但我办不到。真的办不到。也可能是我自己自作多情，真的不知道....argh, this is so 'primary school standard'. there's an evident lack of depth and vocabulary. even i find my chinese appalling, so i shall switch back to english now. not that it is very much better....hahaha. anyways, i'm just a small fry, an insignificant part of anyone's life. a passer-by, someone forgettable. very forgettable. 我没什么优点，但至少还有点自知之明。hahahahahaha. yar, that's about the only good point about me. now, i'm honestly stuck in a limbo now. hate this awkward silence, but.... argh. i hate to admit it but....it's just so weird. i still take note of some stuff, involuntarily want certain stuff to happen and just cannot delete some stuff from that brain of mine. yeps, my brains full of stuff. i'm emotional but rational. wow, this sounds so contradictary. emotionally, i haven't changed one bit. i'm still that same sentimental, soft-hearted romantist with terrible fluctuating business-cycles for feelings (ie, it goes in a roller-coaster manner. up then down then up, so on and so forth). of course, if this shows in my actions, then people would say i'm PMSing whenever i'm down. hahahahaha. so, must be rational and minimise showing my true feelings outright lah! going high or being super cold is just a way of hiding the fact that i'm not all that ____. has a 'cancelling' effect. =) it's only natural i guess, a certain instinct to hide some bits of you from the world. i don't know what's coming over me again. cannot emo. i shall drown myself in work again....hahaha
POSTED BY mysticmalady AT 11:45 PM |
mundane and frivolous
those are 2 words that i would use to describe my blog. MUNDANE and FRIVOLOUS. could use that to describe my life too...it's apt to some extent. my life is BORING, evolving around school, home and church. my blog is also LACKING IN SUBSTANCE, mainly talking about the above mentioned 'boring life of jane'. there's absolutely no critical thinking involved when i blog stuff and i don't talk very much about thought-provoking issues. (i honestly don't think there's anything about my life that i write about here worth people pondering for ages about)
oh wells, even if my life is boring...at least it's purposeful. i KNOW where i'm heading and what i've been put here for. i also KNOW what i have to do, it's just that the PRACTISING part that is a teeny-bit hard to accomplish. ok, fine. it's very hard. this jane is still a 'work in progress' here, the finished product would only come when i go back HOME.
(ignore me if you have no idea what i'm talking about...)was reading my friends' blogs about the tibetan/olympic/china issue. now that's quite thought-provoking and interesting. (go to jianan's blog for more details...) i must confess that i didn't really know that much about the 'whole issue' before reading it, so much for GP and (supposedly) having to read widely about current issues. of course, some of it is a little biased but i generally agree with most points.
read whatever's written below only if you've nothing much to do....it's just my view on certain stuff. one that was formed from reports about this issue and not from an analysis of the matter by someone else. trying to add substance to my usually airy-fairy blog posts....
what is freedom and what are human rights? can they be exchanged for material things? of course, i personally don't think so, yet many people believe that they can 'shut dissent voices' up by pointing out the 'economic wealth' the suppression of such rights bring. don't get me wrong, i don't think those tibetans should turn to looting and violence in protest of their 'lack of basic human rights'. there has to be another way out. another way for them to say "look. we want and have the right to keep our traditional way of life, no matter how poor living standards were. this is the path we have chosen." i'm quite sure that the chinese government is rational enough to give them the freedom to choose what lives they want to live, provided that they don't 'break away' and don't cause trouble. hk is a pretty good example. they're thriving and the government in beijing is planning to give them more autonomy in a couple of years time. (even though the hk people do complain a lot that this autonomy is long overdue, but that's something else that will spark off more heated debate.)
it's not the tibetans or chinese governement that irks me the most. it's the west. they are BIG HYPOCRITES (especially that certain country with a plant as a president...). wish they would stop sticking their noses in things that don't concern them and acting like the big brother. oh wait...they are called big brother for a reason. the thing that gets me the most is that they like to critisize countries other about the lack of human rights there and look at what they are doing in iraq, guatemalo bay (i seriously can't spell it....), etc. the conditions there are appalling and the plant still talks on and on and on about human rights issues in darfur, tibet, myanmar, etc. please resolve the human rights issues you are responsible for being pointing out the mistakes of others. there's a pretty good quote from the bible on hypocrisy in general (though not necessarily about this specific issue..): "why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but perceivest not the beam that is in thine own eye?" if the country run by the plant wants me to really take them seriously, i suggest that they go and do something about the problems they have caused, rather than merely sweeping it under the carpet. the fact that the problem is hidden doesn't mean that the problem is solved.
and western countries, stop dragging politics into sports. it's not fair for the competitors. yes, i do agree with the common view that china wants to hold the olympics for political reasons, sort of like a show-and-tell session for their country, but that doesn't mean that other green-eyed countries should go and ruin it for them by protesting, blah. i totally pity the athletes. really hope that they wouldn't under-perform coz of all the brou-haha (again, i'm not too sure of the spelling) surrounding the olympics.
ok....it could be a tad biased and some facts could be wrong. but, who cares! it's just my personal view on this and everyone has a right to his/her own perception on this matter. how many people would read it anyway. hahahahah
herein lies the difference between a half-bimbo (ie me. i write like a bimbo sometimes....) and a deep thinker. the half-bimbo (and bimbo) writes page after page about her (or his? hahah....scary thought) life, deepest feelings about love and shopping. makes for an entertaining read. the deep thinker looks at an issue from a very objective point of view, weighs the pro and cons/boons and banes/conflicting POVs, etc. then derives a logical conclusion on the matter.
i lurve providing my friends with updates about my sad life, but a change in content matter would be nice sometimes. =) it's about finding the balance between serious and mindless stuff.
on another note, jolyn and i were bored enough to solve that daily math problem thing on monday. too bad we didn't win...=( i'm quite sure the answer is correct, just that they didn't pick us....=(
but i did get my MG sweater today! the co-op is finally opened and there's a 10% discount on everything there, according to my sister. hahaha. opening sale. LOL. it's S size, but it looks HUGE on me. oh wells, all the better to trap more air and keep me warm. XD
whatever's written below is just my take on some other stuff. i'm not emo-ing and if you're going to accuse me of being conventional and not at all like a 'modern woman', go ahead. i'm not really a hard-core feminist to begin with anyway. i just feel that everyone should be entitled to equal opportunities in work and stuff, but i do think that there are just some 'traditional ideas' that are still worth holding on to.
was talking with my 'girl-friends' the other day. and we all agreed that girls shouldn't be the one making the first move. hahahaha. i also don't know why i'm writing it here, for fun ba. i also agree to a large extent with that newspaper column that the 'best' type of break-up is one where both parties hate each other. not 'hate' as in really loathe the sight of each other, but rather, just don't keep in such close contact. there's bound to be more unhappiness if they insist that they can be close friends and keep in regular contact with each other without remainging as a couple. i say this coz i see it happening in real-time. of course not in my own life lah! i won't blogged about it if it was happening to me! siao! it's someone i know....hahaha. i'm not that stupid to say who it is here. 陌生人. was it random or intentional? go figure.
POSTED BY mysticmalady AT 12:55 AM |
being salt and light...and other random stuff
yar...i think it's really hard to be the 'salt and light of the world'. i mean, i've heard that being preached many many times over, yet, i still find it a MAJOR CHALLENGE. i know i'm not a really good ambassador for Christ, still trying really hard to be one (with lots of prayers and stuff too...) i admit that i'm quite worldly at times and it just seeps into my conversation/discussion topic. it's...bad bad bad. must change.
on a side note, I FOUND SOMEONE WHO RUNS AT THE SAME PACE AS ME!!!! yayness! did 2.4 on friday, not too bad for someone who runs that distance only twice a year (once during mock run and once during the actual run). ran with wenyan and both of us didn't collapse! (luckily. i noticed that they had an ambulance near the track just in case...hahah) i remember that i was CRAZY enough to try to get addy to pace me during X-country. I ALMOST DIED IN THE FOREST. ok, maybe i'm exaggerating, but addy is really a very very fast runner! i remember mr tommy ng (or was it mr vincent ong) ALWAYS asking addy what her cca was and express extreme disappointment when addy replied 'guides'. haahahahah...addy knows what i'm talking about. hahahahah.
argh....a few more weeks to concert and h3. MUST MUG! jiayou jane!!!
i think i'm quite shameless, cheering myself on. quite....low-life. hahahahaha. daos.
POSTED BY mysticmalady AT 11:25 PM |
squandering my afternoons away.....
it's a very bad habit that i have. slacking all afternoon and during the weekends, then dying while trying to do my work in the wee hours of the morning. terrible habit. must change it.
soooooooo how did i waste my afternoons this week? hahaha...in many many ways!
mon: threw a shot-putt to earn participation points. my class girls TOTALLY SPAMMED IT. and i can't throw a shot-putt for nuts. i'm surprized that i can even lift it....ok, exaggerating again, hahahaha....i'm not that weak. but it's still super malu....=( then watched a few races, like the inter-ct girls relay so that i can pon more of sectionals. hahahaha....jane is a bad girl.
tues: copied h3 stem cells notes. i'm confused. does satellite cell=stem cell or is it a subset of stem cell? or is it a differentiated stem cell? it doesn't help that satellite cell and stem cell have the same acronym....i'm very lost. =( the fact that i slept throughout the entire lecture doesn't help one bit.
weds: laxing day. i was sleeping during council presidential election speech and doing bio (D&E. super hard.) during CT. i positively lurve the ct-seating position for my class. >.< rawks my socks! went to throw javelin (another utterly humiliating experience. why oh why do i force myself to suffer such torment???? oh yar....participation points. monkey and apollo must really thank all of us....) ran 200m too coz there were only 8 people participating (ie sure get top 8 to get more points for apollo...) and that's including us extra people. hahahahah. another one of my ploys to pon strings. haahahahah.
today: went to find ms choong after school. i must really stop rambling on and on in circles for my tests, chiong faster, redo my tutorials and ask her for more questions. she says that it would help....hahahaha. then, the very loser me when to play boggle in the library with jolyn, monkey, caro and this other thrower. i think i'm slightly dyslexic. i just can't seem to find many words out of that stupid cube thing. and the more i stare at the word, the more i think that it looks weird and is spelt wrongly. english (or rather LANGUAGE) and jane don't go really well.
arghhhhhh....now my other eye is starting to itch like crazy. BAD SIGN! nooooooooooo....i'm getting conjunctivitis (or whatever eye-itching illness it is) in both eyes. AHHHHHHHHHHHH..... poor chuan didn't even come to school today. nooooooo......i don't like having swollen, painful, dry, itchy eyes...=(
POSTED BY mysticmalady AT 9:45 PM |
floodgates of melancholy....shut.
i don't like diversity and evolution. it's incredibly hard and it's not true! i'm annoyed with the tutorial....coz i'm still stuck at the mcqs. argh. it puts me to sleep. hahahaha. giving my brain a break now after doing math, h3 and some bio. hahahaha.... fine, it's just an excuse to use the computer. hahahaha. but i think it'll be a short post coz my left eye hurts. NOOOOOOOOOOOOO....i dun wanna suffer the same (painful) fate as chuan. argh.....=(
don't like h3. i wanted to go for the SBL in MG last friday, but i had h3. =( the most ironic thing was that the SBL was on cord blood and stem cell research, which i 'learnt' during h3 that afternoon. hahahaha...all my fellow h3-mates would know how ironic that is....especially since the h3 lecture was a ravi lecture. hahahahaha....i shall not niao him further.
OHHHHHHHHH...this is soooooooooooo UNFAIR! mghandbells is gonna be on tomorrow (or rather, today)'s zao an ni hao!!!! NO FAIR! we didn't get to do that last time....though we DID manage to perform on tv...(shudders while remembering the fit-for-pregnant-women, supposedly inspired by traditional korean costume outfit. it was totally shapeless...hahaha) BUT THAT'S COOL! XD MGHANDBELLS RAWK MY SOCKS! =) hmmm...wonder when is the concert. in july or something.....miss handbells like mad.....=( my time there was truly the best time of my life (so far).
speaking of concerts...anyone wants to go for INSPIRATIONS VIII? it's HCSE strings concert lah and i need to recoup my losses, ie that 70 bucks i've gotta pay for the compulsory 10 tickets. preeeeetty preeeetty please???? it's on 10th may, 7 pm (i think...), HC audi. and it's (only) 7bucks. if you're going to support me then BEEEEEEEEEG THANKEW IN ADVANCE! XD (though the possibility of that happening is...pathetic. sadly. so many people don't like classical music or not free or just don't wanna spend the money, etc. sad life i live. oh no...cannot emo. cannot emo.)
i've decided to stop emo-ing so much. i shall revert back to my ladida, utterly random, laugh-at anything, become-super-high (and extremely lame, loser and spastic) self.
i will....
1. stop having violent tendencies (eg. banging books on table in frustration)
2. stop cursing (yeah, i'll stop saying the word 'freaking' and 'kns' and 's***'. i shouldn't even be saying them in the first place)
3. stop complaining about everything and anything that annoys me one bit
4. stop harping on things, going on and on and on randomly about it like a broken tape recorder. (i bet this annoys people around me to no end...)
5. start minding my own business and stop poking my head into anything that doesn't really concern me.
6. stop being so (painfully) self-conscious (that means not getting annoyed when people touch that 'raw nerve')
7. stop being a hypocrite. seriously.
i guess that list can go on forever. hahahahaha. either way, i'm not going to emo. =) no point emoing...it can go on like a emo cycle. like, you're annoyed then you start to emo a bit. then the more you emo, the more pesimistic you get, the more you take everything to heart and get annoyed/depressed/pessimistic at everything. AND YOU JUST BECOME MORE EMO. then it goes on and on until you either take that final leap/cut, etc. or you have to go and see a psychiatrist for your clinical depression. so....you must GET OUT OF THE CYCLE BEFORE YOU'RE FOREVER TRAPPED THERE! ok...i've reverted to my lame, crappy self, remember? this is a crap logic that i've come up with, but it could make perfect sense, in a way.
kind of reminds me of an oft-said quote: 'laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you sob alone in a sad pathetic corner with everyone else laughing at your loser-ness' (obviously, i've edited it a lot so it only bears a slight resemblance to the original phrase...hahahah)
wanted to type this in fine print, but felt a sense of sympathy for the eyes of those who decide to read the fine print (especially when my eyes hurt...hahahahah)
POSTED BY mysticmalady AT 12:14 AM |
floodgates of melancholy....now under repair...
my circadian clock (aka bio clock) is completely out of control and it's seriously impairing my judgement and affecting my mood. yeah....i have pretty BIGGGG mood swings, no thanks to my extreme tiredness and irregular sleeping time.
at least i finished and handed up my h3 lab report. i totally do not understand how that stupid mechanism works and suat's lab report seriously scares me. it's incomprehensible. all those stupid acronyms drive me crazy....i mean who knows what PL, COX, ABCA1, PPAR-alpha, etc means if you've never read that thing before? (or if you're reading it for the 2nd time at 4am in the morning....hahah...)
let's just say that my whole week was screwed up and i should have started doing that lab report earlier. i slept at around 2++am the whole of last week just reading and trying to understand that spastic topic. then i started piaing hardcore on thurs...serves me right. haiz. did while listening to the radio from afternoon all the way till goodness knows what time. let's just say that when i was finishing, i heard this loooooong drum-roll on the radio and was wondering what stupid out-dated song it was. until i heard the 1st few words....'mari kita...', then i sort of realised that i don't need to sleep liao. hahahaha....
if you all didn't know, they always play the national anthem on all radio and tv stations at 6am in the morning. hahahahahaha. i didn't know that 933 runs all night though....it really helped me stay awake.
of course, doing this sort of stupid things has repercussions. i wanted to die the next few days from extreme lack of sleep. still had some adrenaline in the morning to keep me awake during bio and econs lecture, but i just died during gp. i listened for a while, slept for 15 min, did 5 sentences of corrections and played pictionary! (wow....the funnest thing v deprived jane has done...hahah) i slept thru most of h3 later and bible study. seriously cmi lah. can see everyone who takes h3 bio looking like zombies on fri. yl and jolyn slept at 2+ i think, suat slept at 3+, wy slept from 11-1, then piaed all the way. that's a once in a lifetime occurence for wy...hahaha.
i think the only happy thing that happened last week was that 98.2% of the school got A for pw. that. is. serious. ownage. it's crazy lah! but we did put it a darn lot of effort.....our pi, wr, blah blah....were sooooo thick (compared to many other schools...)
BIG BIG THANKS TO MS ANG FOR TAKING TIME TO HELP US SOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH TO EDIT AND STUFF!!!! AND BIG BIG BIG BIG THANKS TO MY WHOLE GROUP!!!!!! =) YOU GUYS ROCK! SERIOUSLY! ok...maybe i'll do those personal thanking things another time, when i'm more sane and mentally 'there'.
ok...small font writing time again! hahaha....i'm seriously getting sadistic by having this weird tendency to lurve spoiling people's eyesight with puny words. hahahaha. too bad....我爽啊!
was greatly encouraged by what snr pastor dr tow said today. something about how you don't have to be a somebody to do God's work, coz God appreciates the works that nobodys do too. =) that really made my week. honestly. i know i'm incompetent yar....if you think you can do a better job, by all means, replace me. i seriously don't know why God plonks this kind of work on my lap, especially when i know that i'm not that good. but it's all in His perfect plan, so it's not for me (or for anyone else....) to question. i wanted to write something more fiery...but...it's better not to. this is the internet after all.
i know when people hate me lah. i'm not that stupid and blinded. i tried darn hard last year, but this year, forget it. i don't do things which are futile. no point lor. anyways, why should i go about pleasing people? sheesh. we're suppose to please God, not men. i rather dao those that i perceive just buay tahan me. no point lah. you'll be thinking 'how am i gonna get rid of her...' and other stuff, so i rather spare you the agony of thinking of ways to escape. it's not coz i'm really cold or anything....how i treat poeple is fashioned by how i think they percieve me (going by body language and stuff...it's really darn obvious sometimes.) i believe that there's no point talking/knowing peole who have a cerain bias against me and aren't interested in knowing/talking to me anyway. i'm darn sure that the people i'm talking about wouldn't read this anyway, so...who cares about what i type.
if i emo-ed to anyone in the past few weeks, just ignore what i said during my emoing. i'm wasn't in my right mind and i probably had some loose screws, like now. XP
POSTED BY mysticmalady AT 11:37 PM |
emo elmo...with panda eyes
yes....it's past 1am again and yes, i'm still doing h3. actually it's more of getting severe mental block and playing mindsweeper. oh....woe be unto me. such a sad life i live (i mean, who else plays mindsweeper so much other than no-life losers like me.)
as usual, i'm the 'last person standing', ie the only night-owl in class that hasn't gone to sleep yet. sadly, my brain works very well at this hour for some unknown reason. i just seem to be able to do/process things faster. man......i blame it on my screwed sleeping time.
but i did catch up on some sleep during ct session today. ah! the joys of sitting right at the back of the audi where no one sees you (especially if you're sitting/lying down in the empty space behind the very last row of seats.) could hear the speaker occasionally, sounded pretty funny.
haiz.......bio. sucked. big. time. HAIZZZZZZZ. i am utterly disappointed at my dismal performance for EVERY SINGLE SUBJECT. i blame myself and my laziness. oh, and my inability to apply well/use the proper terminology/read the stupid question properly/manage my time well. the last one will be the death of me, it's a problem i face ALL THE TIME. anyone knows a good way to manage time properly, please tell me!!!!!! i'm getting desperate liao. and i'm soooooooooooooo annoyed that i keep missing the next grade by 1 stupid mark. ARGH!!!! i almost cried during the go-through of the paper, coz i think i could have gotten 11 marks higher through better phrasing, less careless mistakes, much much much better time management, starting with the essay, not going round the bush, etc. got a lot of problems one lah....and very little time to solve it. the more i look, the worse i feel. too bad lah, i have higher expectations of myself and i absolutely ABHOR failure. the fact that i'm a loser isn't going to make things better. HAIZZZZZZZ.
everyone seems to be emoing about 1 thing or the other. it's sad and it's not going to help situations at all. (haha...i think this is very ironic, even hypocritical, since it's coming from this emo-kia like me....hahaha) my mind works pretty quickly when it comes to piecing things together, unless you're talking about the mechanism of how aspirin affects apoA-I expression. hahahaa....stupid h3. even more unfortunately, sometimes i hear about things concerning other people that i don't need, even shouldn't know. like the time i was on the bus and i heard my fren's frens talking about stuff about my fren,etc. can't help it if they talk so loudly and i was next to them on this UBER crowded bus...can't even tune out their voices lah, talk until so loud. sheesh. but i don't use such 'illegally obtained' info about someone to blackmail them or what....that is SO MORALLY WRONG. a secret is meant to be a secret and i despise anyone who spreads stuff told to them confidentially. but some of these stuff can't ever be controlled, so the most logical thing to do is not to tell it at all lah! you can't stop a rumour from spreading, but you can prevent circumstances that would contribute to such a rumour being spread in the first place. that's why there are some stuff that i wouldn't commit fully to regardless of how much i would like to.
hahaha.....i sidetracked alot liao. anyways, i kinda missed the situation last year, when everyone was all ladida, happy-go-lucky and there didn't seem to be so many obvious factions. yar....maybe it's coz i'm 1 of those people who like peace (or so the many personality test thingys say...) and harmony. or more directly put, i hate fiery exchanges. and i feel very guilty now for erupting into violent outbursts occasionally with a certain defiance against higher authorities....dunno why i have this thing against the govt and anyone else that is able to make significant changes in society or the place they are put in charge of. and i also feel very guilty for following the crowd and heaping unfair criticisms on poor people that are ostracized. that is soooooo not compassionate, nice, fair, etc for that poor person. argh....it's so unbecoming of a child of God. haiz....i shall repent from my ways and not do that.
i'm becoming uber random. i think writing my 2-cents worth about stuff that's happening around me is more interesting that writing my h3 report...hahahaha. but then again, it could be a case where everyone has a voice, but no 1's listening. some stuff just aren't meant to be my business and the smartest thing to do is to stay out of it....STAY FAR AWAY FROM SUCH UNNECESSARY TROUBLE. i'll just dao and pretend that i don't know about it. random thots on life...in fine print. hahahaha.
POSTED BY mysticmalady AT 1:18 AM |
haiz...
yes...i know that it is past 1am now. i'm still dying/collapsing here while doing h3 lab report. just having a slight (ya right...more like MAJOR) mental block. sooooo...just blog abit.
haiz....i really sigh alot now. just have alot of things to sigh about lately. haizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
got pw remarks back today. the individual part was not too bad, op was generally still ok but wr was depressingly disasterous. i didn't see A SINGLE good comment. everything was neutral or negative and there were sooooooooooo many criticisms. what a wonderful way to start the day.
then ms choong told us about our equally awful block test results. only 3 people passed i think and it's definitely NOT ME. i'm very sure of that. i should have written faster or something. i think i'm 1 of those borderline failures. ok....fine. i'm a loser. failure. bleh.
felt......super awful the whole day. 有那种被背叛的感觉。yar......must make a mental note to be a bit more laxing before bio, don't need to chiong so badly for bio. and must make a mental note not to try so hard to 'fit in'. and must make a mental note to trash some stuff in my brain to make way for more important stuff.
oh! got this very expected op comment: 'showed obvious signs of nervousness' oh wells....i know some people are really surprised coz normally i can just go up there, act high/confident and just smoke/crap my way through. that's like my 'other me' taking over in a way. and no, i'm not crazy or suffer from split-personality. i'm just able to hide my nervousness well except in 2 conditions. 1st is when i'm going to be judged on my performance, be it in terms of music exam, presentations or interviews with scary interviewers. 2nd is when.....hahaha....i shan't say. but this is very common too among many people. or maybe just in girls, i'm not really sure coz i'm not a guy. hahahaha. in both cases, i just either become tongue-tied or start talking weird random crap that gets even more illogical the more nervous i get after realising that i'm talking alot of stupid things. positive feedback. hahahahaha....crap i'm going all bio-ish. either way, i don't feel like getting pw back at all. actually, some marks can be seen by holding it to the light and scrutinising it very very very closely. hahahahaha....
i think i said too much today liaoz. but u're not stupid and neither am i. i honestly get what u're driving at, just it's abit hard to practise it lah. time. issit a cure or just a way of elongating the pain? i wonder....shucks....i'm not talking sense liao
POSTED BY mysticmalady AT 1:20 AM |
ranting rubbish...
i think i've mentioned that whenever i decide to run, it WILL rain. and it rained....again. =( at least it rained before i started running, so i COULD run, just that the ground was super wet and there were huge puddles everywhere. sians....going to fail napfa. if you see a girl collapsing/fainting/dying during any part of the napfa during the time when my class is doing napfa, that would be me. hahahaha....try to rescue me and send me to the hospital ba. wenyan is trying to fight with me for the title of 'unfit girl who will collapse during napfa'. i'll win that title man!
my sleeping time is super screwed again. i slept at 9.30 on friday. wow....that's even earlier than wenyan......i think. then i slept at 1++(closer to 2am lah...) on sat. and i think i'm sleeping at 12+ today. my sleeping time fluctuates like mad....that means i'll die early. too bad for me....XP
seriously, it's pretty rare for me to find someone soooooo annoying to the point that i totally bu shuang that person. that person irritates me, thinks she's soooooo good. please man. that doesn't mean she can boss me around, make stupid snide comments. sheesh. i'm not stupid k, i can detect sacarsm and i don't give a hoot to what she think s. it's not worth me bothering. i mean, i admire the fact that she isn't afraid to speak what's on her mind, but i sure wish that she could practise some tact. no, ALOT MORE TACT. i don't see the point of me (and some others) coming back and wasting our time since we won't be rendering much help anyways. it doesn't mean that just because there's more people, things will be done faster and stuff. i came just to shut your trap up so you won't go around bitching about it....though i think you still will. some people just can't be satisfied. bleh...ok....got that off my chest. i don't think that person mentioned above will read it anyway, so it doesn't really matter. was talking to my best buddies in strings. hahahaha...it's kinda liberating to talk to them. 有些事情憋在心里蛮久了，不知道能跟谁分忧。讲了出来，反而觉得好多了。=) thanks peeps! i know you guys have your own probs too....but i'll always be there to lend you guys a listening ear! (as you have done for me...) especially wanna thank the dodo. hahahaha....i think we're on the same boat (at least you had the same experience as me before....) except yours has sort of materialised? don't know how to phrase it...ahahahha. we agree on sooooooo many things! kept going like " oh man! i totally agree!!! (insert what we agree on) is totally true! hi-5 man!!!!" or maybe it's just a universal 'girl point of view' on certain things, such that we can understand where each other is coming from and can even perdict how each other feels about certain stuff. it's kinda cool....especially how we both do the same stupid things. seriously. haiz.....we're both sad-case people man. the more i think about it, the more similar we are....except dodo's one is a step (or 2) further than mine. hahahaha.....that's what i think lah. and all 3 of us agreed that our sec4 days were da bomb! it was such a crazy and busy time, having to mug for Os and balance cca activities at the same time (at least for me....) but life just seemed so simple and care-free. alot of things have changed...haiz. I MISS MG, 4A1, MY RECESS BUDDIES, MY CLOSEST PALS THAT I CAN CRAP ABOUT ANYTHING TO, HANDBELLS, EVERYTHING! too bad i can't turn back the clocks and return to that time. i rather live a simple life with no worries....lots of random crap....hahaha.
POSTED BY mysticmalady AT 11:49 PM |
haiz....
end of the week liao. quite evidently, i can't write coherently in proper english for long periods of time. i keep reverting back to my old style of blogging that is peppered with singlish/slangs, etc. too bad. HAHA... i'm quite liberal with the usage of slangs especially.
just signed up for SATS. i bet i'm going to question myself why i'm so stupid and boliao to sign up for it when i start hyperventilating and mugging for it. i can just sense it. i'll probably be doing the same thing for the ukcat and bmat test too. complaining, regretting and mugging at the same time. sad life. i'm such a sad case loser....sheesh
spouted random stuff during book presentation. of course i'm right to say that people aren't listening anyway, so i just try to appease the teacher by just doing the book presentation. lousy attitude but i have a serious mental (and nose) block these few days. the brain is too clogged up with emo thoughts and morbid fantasies to write a review about such a humourously retarded, 'tickle your funny bone' kind of book. haiz.
MS TEO IS MY LIFE SAVER! XD she lent me her copy of the dear, elusive textbook that i need for h3. the 'dear' here does not have the meaning of being something i hold close to my heart. it literally means that the stupid book is SUPER EXPENSIVE! well....it's about 5.5cm thick and super heavy. haiz...and cheem.
wanted to go running........but it was pouring....haiz. too bad. it always happens whenever i decide to go and run. looks like i'll be forced to grow fat and die at home if i don't exercise anymore, then you'll see this newspaper report about this fat girl who dies at home coz she can't get out of her house for medical treatment. the icing on the cake would be that she kena stuck between the balcony doors (that's the widest door in my house...) and she died coz the firemen couldn't free her in time. yups...that would be me. come for my funeral man.....and help to carry the coffin. otherwise the pallbearers would all be flattened and trapped under the coffin.
talking crap again.....argh. it still amazes me that my screwed brain is capable of coming up with this kind of seriously self-deprecating (sp?) and morbid thoughts. the brain is an enigma. and so am i. or so i like to think...hahah. i start talking crap late at night.
POSTED BY mysticmalady AT 11:57 PM |
posting in PROPER english
This little girl kept lambasting me about the quality of English I use in my posts, so I've decided to type out a post in proper English with all the capital letters at the beginning of the sentence and other miniscule details that make up the English language as we know it today. I will attempt to rein in the free usage of colloquial english, slangs and onomatopoeia (like ahhhhhhhh). Let's see who's going to get the last laugh (though I still suspect that the little girl will be laughing her head off as she reads this)!
Honestly, the standard of my English is pretty low, especially looking at the disappointingly pathetic marks I got for GP. My vocabulary is not wide enough and I'm always making stupid grammatical or spelling errors. How terrible.
Feeling pretty under the weather these past few days since I'm down with the flu. In fact, I even slept before 11 yesterday when I felt the fever coming up. I guess I used at least 40 pieces of tissue paper today trying to unclog my nose-unsuccessfully. It's still blocked right now, but the fever's gone (I think).
Well, I'm suppose to prepare for the book presentation right now. Had a terrible time trying to decide which book I should do on after one of my classmates presented on the book that I originally intended to do on. Lord of the Rings? That's a wee bit too long. Stardust (which I read after promos last year)? I didn't ask my sister to borrow it from the library. Wuthering Heights (a really tragic but entertaining read that plays like a soap opera)? Same reason as Stardust. Eventually, I settled for Marley and Me. It's a cute book that's short and humurous! It's quite a frivolous read, but I guess no one is going to pay full attention to me during the presentation anyway.
This is dreadful. I have an enormous backlog of work to clear and my block test results are the pits. I shall stop here. I can't take this "blog ala GP essay" thing anymore.
POSTED BY mysticmalady AT 10:10 PM |
◄ Older posts
Newer posts ►
Back to the top
0 Comments