Don't mind me as I ramble on about mindless things! ^^

Jane. Child of GOD. Slacker medic. Part-time 'housewife', full-time watcher of dramas and variety shows. Ex-handbeller, occasional cellist, casual pianist. Who knows what else?

July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 April 2010 May 2010 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 January 2011 February 2011 March 2011 April 2011 May 2011 June 2011 July 2011 August 2011 September 2011 October 2011 November 2011 December 2011 January 2012 February 2012 March 2012 April 2012 May 2012 June 2012 August 2012 September 2012 October 2012 November 2012 December 2012 January 2013 February 2013 March 2013 April 2013 May 2013 August 2013 September 2013 November 2013 April 2014 June 2014 July 2014 November 2014 January 2015 March 2015 April 2015 May 2015

mghandbells:) HCSE:) 07s75:)
addy! alfred! anthea! baoxia! changjie! cherry! cheryl! clement! faye! fidelia! gail! honghui! jasvir! jiamin! jianan! jolyn! keene! krystle! mabel! monica! monkey! natalie! nerissa! nicholas! nicole! priscilla! ruijun! samantha! stephanie! suern! thomas! tiffany! veronica! wanxian! yingpeng! yiren! yuchuan! yudian!

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I HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE PW X INFINITY

ok...so i got that thing off me. pw is a waste of all sorts of resources. don't know why it exists. hate that SA teacher that came up with it in the first place. but.........

IT'S OVER TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

that's the only consolation i have. just do the op and FAREWELL YOU *(^$%%# PW!!!

ok. anyone can tell that i really really hate pw.

i was so bored with it that i kinda joined facebook the other day. pw really so sian wad.....

nothing interesting is going to happen today, so i might as well blog now in the middle of the day. suppose to memorise my op script and pack up my stuff, but, jane fels like being unproductive now.

since addy wants me to tell about my EOYs again, i'll just say it's ok again. haha....at least can do h3. erm, addy want to know my grades 4 each subject or overall how it was? aiyah, i'll just tell you when/if i see you online. haha, don't want to seem _______ if i posted it here.

jane has a new obsession! it's called 公主小妹! it's quite cute and funny, but then again, i'm only at ep 3. wonder if gerielle has started watching it, it's got her favourite wuzun there and he's acting opposite angela chang. i like wunzun's jin, but i think his brother in the show, ling, is nicer. as in not so dao and his actions very cute and innocent. ok.....jane's obsessing.....=)

yup, it's reformation sunday today! to commemorate the reformers who helped shaped the Protestant churches as we (sort of) know it today, breaking away from the norms of that time and away from the RC church. haha...they returned the bible to the individual so to speak! wondered why they didn't sing that martin luther hymn today....nevermind....

and it's the end of the week again. reformation sunday tomorrow, that means i have to get up early coz there's choir presentation tomorrow. not that i mind...

nothing much to write about. maybe i'll just summarise what i did this week...

weds: had strings. sighreading suk's serenade and other new songs, which seemed ok at first but got quite terrible later coz of the 6flats. gave up after a while. nevermind.

thurs: went to pizza hut with some people in class. supposed to have piano lesson after that but my piano teacher and i both couldn't make it. ended up going back to school with yl and doing pw. saw ms ang for our ppt, ended up talking a fair bit of random stuff to her. pw overload i guess.

fri: went to cine to look around with some people in class again. no money so couldn't buy anything. went to taka after that and window-shopped. OH! I SAW GAIL AT CINE! i think my classmates think i'm mad whenever i see other handbellers. oops. left earlier than the rest coz had bible study later. not going to risk getting scolded by my mum.

sat: suppose to go shopping for skirt with my family, but ended up doing pw. was among one of the many groups that went to j8 to meet ms ang again to let her see our ppt again. bet she's quite sian already. well, so am i. HATE PW. did abit of sitting around at DOME after letting her check and took an almost 1 hr trip to church. buses are nicer places to sleep on than mrts. anyway didn't go for scream (quite glad i didn't go too....) and helped phyllis with camp stuff for a while.

how 'interesting' my week has been....

bitterness. resentment. that's a bit of an understatement but nevermind. don't know why i should feel that way in the first place. just dao , jane, just dao. wrote something yesterday to sort of release pent-up thoughts, but i saved it as a draft coz it's too intimate (?) to post. aren't i supposed to have gotten over it already? it's just small, insignificant things. nothing to care or bother so much about, but why do i still mind so much? nevermind. realised i've been subconsciously doing stuff. it's just small actions anyway, no one would really notice unless they have been carefully observing me or something. even then they may not catch it coz i'm living most of my life under a facade of disinterest and indifference.

其实真的希望......forget it man. like writing it will change things. must.learn.to.forget.and.not.have.so.high.hopes.or.else.will.be.disappointed.really.easily...

been sleeping for less than half the recommended sleeping time these past few days. no wonder i'm so short, since people who sleep less tend to be shorter. i blame pw for it. was doing the oral presentation slides and script until some unearthly hours. wasn't the one who slept the latest though, saw a few people in class still online when i went off yesterday, like adrian i think.

jane will sleep earlier today.

actually i slept quite a fair bit in the afternoon on the floor. it's a really good place to take a nap since you wouldn't oversleep if you sleep on the floor. and it's really cooling and i don't dirty my bed if i feel like sleeping before i take a shower. but it's still quite ironic that my favourite patch-of-floor-to-sleep-on is in that small space between my bed and window. yes, i like sleeping on the floor right next to my bed. haha......if it isn't plain weird, i don't know what is.

went back to MG today for mini-fair with cheryl! we managed to convince yueling and caro to go with us too! quite fun i guess and i saw the handbellers! woot! haha....just went a bit siao when i saw them, especially went i saw faye and gail! the 2 very high prefects....who were attempting to pon the detention duty thingy (basically looking at people do detention). haha...bad prefects. jk...

anyway, basically went there to soak in the atmosphere and buy food? cheryl got scammed by buying that not nice but still quite expensive cupcake and caro found some lower pri people soooo cute that she decided to buy curry puff from them. at least they didn't scam her. i think the minifair last time was more fun and lively. i mean, the poor sec 4s probably wouldn't come coz they had a paper in the afternoon. they used to have little cute live animals for sale or as a prize! haha...can still remember my friend almost killing her poor quail when she tried to teach it how to fly. poor thing, the bird's wings weren't even fully developed yet...

went to bukit timah market after that without caro, but chuan, wenyan and nandhu joined us instead. been eating out very often for lunch these few days, like how i went to island creamery yesterday. saw a b1 girl that i recognise by face, not by name. anyway, it was kinda weird coz she kinda stared at me once i walked in....haha...talked for a while though.

went home and slept the rest of the afternoon away after piano lesson. body cannot take it anymore i guess....

speaking of ice cream, i like the song for the walls ice cream advertisement by jj lin and jin sha! it's sooo sweet but a bit don't-make-sense. anyway, even the mv is like an advertisement with the walls ice cream logo popping up everywhere. like rainie's 遇上爱. that's like a le tea advert. but i like both of the songs anyways.

got my overall results and really really must thank God for seeing me through promos! overall not bad...=) but could have done better. anyway if you rearrange the letters, you can go into the past and C ABBA. yes, it's very very lame. hope i can up the C by a grade since i missed the B by a measly 0.7 marks. argh. please moderate that. not much hope of moderating 1 of the Bs which is 1 mark away from the A coz it's sort of been already moderated.

to B ABBA is way cooler than to merely C ABBA. their songs are old but quite catchy i think. haha....i'm being very very very very very lame today....

AND WE'RE DONE WITH THE STUPID WR!!!!!! about time too, the deadline is tomorrow.

seriously, honour the Lord and He will honour you. i know many people have said this over and over again, but it really is true! you wouldn't understand how true it is until you've actually tried to honour the Lord, set aside time for Him and keep the Sabbath. (of course you should do it out of love for the Lord and not to get a better mark, higher pay or something.)

anyway, got all my papers back today. gp was bad across the board so i think they'll moderate it. at least i passed both, so i think i'll get b or c overall. bio is the subject i really thank God about! without him, i will really just die for it. it also exemplifies the fact that you should honour God and NOT STUDY on the Sabbath. haha...i totally didn't touch bio on the sunday just before it (it's a monday paper...) and i hadn't even studied the 'crucial' chapters yet, like gene expression, control, generally all the dna topics. woke up and studied in the middle of the night instead. anyway to cut the not very long story even shorter, He saw me through the paper and helped me do quite well for it! high b leh.....it's extremely good for a hc bio paper. seriously, by myself, i can't do very much. but with the Lord, i can do anything through Christ who strengthens me! =)

haha....another emo emo portion ahead.....same warning as previous post still applies.

想说的东西很多，但始终开不了口。

feel really really bad...sigh.... argh. didn't really know it'll affect me this much. jane shall not underestimate the effect of it anymore. just want to knock myself silly. maybe many years from now, i'll look back and laugh at what a fool i have been. haha...thinking of 珊瑚海 now, especially the chorus for some unknown reason. actually it's not unknown but i like to deny the truth sometimes...haha.

haix.....只能责怪自己，在失去后才懂得珍惜....

my mood is about as good as the weather now for various reasons. had a B day today and no it doesn't stand for birthday. got math and econs back. could have done better for math, i'm only missing that overall a by i think 2 measly marks! econs was ok overall, think i can get b overall. shall calculate later after dinner.

Warning: the rest of this is all quite emo and written at the spur of the moment. jane shall not be held accountable for any emotion triggered after reading it and shall not entertain any responses pertaining to it either. in fact, don't bother reading it. it's just written to get some stuff out of my mind, possibly written illogically and it's so small and similar to the colour of my background. it's not worth spoiling your eyes for. haha

been meaning to write this for some time now, but never really got down to it. however, i really need to get some things off my chest now and not think about it so much. i think too much i guess. just felt like posting it now anyway...haha....it's so oxymoron. i want to post it, yet i don't want others to read it.

sometimes i ask myself 'am i being to cruel?', 'am i just thinking too much?', 'why do i even bother?', 'what/who is the real me? or have i been living under the protective cover of a mask all this time...' . either way it's been sort of troubling me for some time now, i think ever since blocks, but i've been trying to deny it's existence and chucking it into some long forgotten corner of my mind. but it has been bugging me sometimes and accumulating in that small corner until it's actually become more significant lately. i never thought i'll be so affected by such a situation, but i am. haha....so much for being over-confident of my own resilience in dealing with such situations.

i'm sort of tiptoeing the line between two (seemingly) vastly different feelings that are actually separated by a very thin line. one moment, i'm feeling this way, the other moment, it's the complete opposite. like something being blown in the wind. weee! like real. it's just plain emotional turmoil....i never like roller coasters very much....

sometimes, i just wished i never went to hc. maybe it wouldn't happen. i hate it, yet.... i don't really know why too but i just can't help it. sometimes the logical part of me takes charge and i'll give curt responses. actaully, a part of me just can't bear to do that. i don't know why. i hate that new situation for causing all this questions popping up in my head. i can't stand it. yet, i would just breakdown if i'm forced to forget it coz i was well.....quite....i don't know....happy? i don't know anything. i don't want to know anything.

what to do? can only pray about it ba....commit everything to God in prayer right? i'm being incoherent and extremely illogical liao....ignore me please

i'm actually waiting for yueling to go online for pw but nevermind. in the meantime, i shall just write something about the fun fun time i had today!



met gerielle for lunch first. as usual, we were both late, but i was later. went to pastamania at cine to eat and sat facing the escalators. we were laughing hysterically for most of the time due to some *ahem* reason. haha...gerielle knows what i'm talking about... anyway, we saw baoxia, but she didn't see us. pity ahdian had to do pw in the morning....sigh



then we went n k!!!!!!!!! ahdian came later, after her pw. anyway we all went high! really really high! haha....i always go high when i k....



anyway....it's time to pia pw again...that hateful subject. i think i'll absolutely abhor x-rays after this

hc open house today! (i'm attempting to sound excited here.....therefore the exclamation mark...)

went around sticking the posters, setting up booth before it officially started. actually spent more time walking around with ferrica and yingpeng more than anything. the only productive thing i did was wr for pw. oh, and playing for the open house performances. like people will watch.....haha.

watched the performances in the afternoon coz my manning-booth-duty is in the morning. MAD is nice! taekwondo is also quite cool! too bad i didn't know any of the few MG girls that came....didn't think those i know would want to go to hc anyways...

sian....must still do wr. teacher changed some bits, asked us to look through some bits, add some things and make it more interesting.....sigh

yay! we're sort of done with the written report for pw. just have to let the teacher look at it 1 last time tomorrow and we're done! woot!

wasted a lot of time today doing nothing very productive. got back the chem paper though. not too bad, in fact better than expected given the pathetically little time i spent studying chem. got an A! (barely...) haha...got the same mark as cheryl too, even for the mcq!(which was quite expectedly terrible)

open house tomorrow.....more opportunity to waste time. too bad i have to man the booth and play twice. sigh.....

so the rumours from last year are true. ms kon is really retiring after being with MG for like 10+ years as principal and dunno-how-many years as MEP/english teacher. bukit panjang govt high's current principal is going to replace ms kon, something i saw from that sheet of paper my sister brought home. anyway, i'll miss ms kon! her devotions are really good (even though she repeats them sometimes...) and inspirational. she's quite a funky principal too! *remembers the walk-car-thon when she came in on this motorcyle with a hip biker jacket* i know some people don't like her and stuff, but i think she was really not such a bad principal! i guess it's just weird not having ms kon as the principal. sort of associate her with my MG days....will miss her lots!



didn't do very much today. had pw where we are on our way to finishing wr very very soon! had spring cleaning after that in preparation for open house. washed 2 block b, level 3 classrooms. waste my time and effort, i mean who goes to block b (which is away from the action), especially the 3rd floor (who wants to walk up the stairs?). at first, we seemed to make the classroom even dirtier than it was originally. luckily it turned out pretty clean! all thanks to jif and the mop.

had open house rehersal after that. the cello part for pirates was tweaked a bit. i think my cello hates me, especially the a-string.

haha...my sister's exams are over...

I HATE PW!!!!!!!!!!!! (like everyone else who has to take it)

doing written report now. it's so boring, troublesome, @$#$%^&^....so i'm just here to release my pent-up feelings about it. haha...so it's back to work again.

to people who read my last post, i think i'm fine now. i think. i hope. i wish. sort of expected it, but still....nevermind. maybe i'm fine. either way i'll just put on a mask to hide myself from the world and appear fine.

argh...writing rubbish. i blame pw for that.

feeling kinda....down....some event that i'm so not going to talk about here. haha...it's for me to know and for everyone else to NOT find out. don't bug me about it too...don't want to think about it...

maybe blogging about happy things will cheer me up. played the most emo sounding rachmaninov just now...sigh...

went out with the cello section on sunday to chinatown (yes...even if it does sound unbelievable...) so it was me, eunice, audrey and our (shopping bag carrier) section leader kenneth! (who also got lost b4 we met up at outram...)

didn't do much shopping myself but we all bought presents 4 albert, kashun and guanhui. we spent more on food that day....went to eat those tang shui. ate black sesame and glutinous (?) rice balls. very nice! but kenneth's yang zi gan lu nicer. it was the first to go coz we all 'koped' from him. it was fun walking around with them! haha...nice cello section outing.

festival of sports today. obviously unsporty me didn't participate in anything. just walked around with chuan, visiting the various sports and spreading our good luck around? i don't know why but we just keep seeing apollo winning. haha....quite fun looking at them play. then went to pizza hut at btp to eat. had terrible awful pw after that. sigh.

ok....so maybe my life is not exactly very happy lately. still feel depressed. sad. blue. down. terrible. awful. i wasn't feeling that bad at first, but the more they analysed, the worse i felt. and my parents (actually my dad) kind of rubbed salt into my already sore wounds. kinda broke down lah.....maybe i'll just cry myself to sleep.....

haha...i'm still not telling....i don't think i'll ever tell....

sabbats was really quite a let down. i don't really blame the people conducting the sabbats, i think it's the school admin's fault. they misled us!!!! they should have told us that we would be cooking different things in different venues for the sabbat with the same name. we thought that we would be cooking oreo cheesecake so we were utterly disappointed when we didn't. although i think that the cookies and muffins we cooked were really not bad, i actually signed up coz i wanted to learn how to make oreo cheesecake. i have a feeling that the people conducting the course had no idea that the programme they had was not accurately depicted in the sabbat description, so i don't blame them. sch admin's fault!

wish i had gotten the other venue....they made apple and durian strudel on the first day ( as compared to our steamed fish....). bet they made OREO CHEESECAKE (<3)

went to plaza sing after that to eat. muffins and cookies are not my idea of lunch. they're not exactly very filling. anyway, went to buy presents after that, so i'm officially broke. no notes left in my wallet and i had to borrow money....sigh....

painted banner today! met ying peng to eat lunch at bukit timah market first, then went to school to paint the strings banners. looks nice k....see it at the strings blog! drawing it was quite fun, just don't ask me to paint it unless you want me to ruin it....

argh....time to start pia-ing pw...gonna get back the papers soon....怎么办?!?!?

haha...cute song! i agree with the title....not so much the words....

i've been cooking a lot these few days! not in my own kitchen, but it's still a great accomplishment 4 an MEP person who NEVER cooks. seriously NEVER cook lah (instant noodles are so NOT counted)

went to caro's house ( haha...fellow maplewooder) and baked with her and cheryl just before strings. we baked brownie and blueberry muffins! i think we put too much water for the brownies, it wasn't very chewy, but still can eat though the texture was more similar to cake then to a brownie. don't know how the muffins turned out coz i had to go for strings before it was done. oh wells....it was quite fun! but we probably messed up caro's already super duper messy kitchen...oops.

we had to rescue the brownie and make it look more presentable. first, we forgot to grease the dish before putting the mix in and then it turned out a bit misshaped. then we attempted to transfer it to some plate without waiting for it to cool down and harden, so it kinda disintegrated. oops. then i think it got kind of smashed.....oops again. but we kind of rescued it (luckily cheryl didn't need such a big cake)

had sabbaticals today. a bit of a let-down. i'm quite sure we're not going to make oreo cheesecake. sigh. and that was the reason why i joined it.... :( only made thai lemongrass steamed fish and pineapple rice, which we had for lunch. the rest of the time was filled with other rubbish activities. oh wells....hope tomorrow's program will be better, ie more cooking and nicer stuff to cook which we can actually bring back home.

oh yar gerielle! ur compo is in the 美苑 thing! my sis has this year's one and it has that compo u wrote for that compo writing competition they haf in mg every year. the one you got 1st price for.... dunno if u remember it lah. i sort of remember the story line leh! haha...i can't believe i actually miss writing chinese compos. we sort of talked rubbish (lyk addy and baoxia behind) for half the time and rush the other half...haha...

better go sleep liao....

PROMOS ARE OVER!!!!!!!!! finally....any longer and my brain would just lyse/explode from info overload....



promos was basically okay i guess. it was mostly doable for most papers, so i think i can still pass overall and get promoted. hope i can take a h3 though...not too certain about that. not studying on sunday really helps! really must thank and praise the Lord for seeing me through it all! it is HE who empowers me and help me to 'see' carefully and do it well! as for the results....i'm just leaving it to God. no point worrying over things you can't change.



studying for the monday papers was quite cool. woke up in the middle of the night to study coz i don't want to study on sunday. slept at 10 on sun, wake up at around 2am and study until 6+am. then sleep for 20 min (or not at all) and go to school to take the test. seriously, it's pure madness....



today (or rather yesterday) was mock bio spa. after the bio paper, we just decided to go high and celebrate first. haha...it was sort of like a 75 girls outing! it's actually easier to decide on what to do since we don't really have to consider if the guys would die of boredom, unlike that 'outing' after blocks. all the 75 girls went, except nic, nandhu and monkey. think they either went home too soon, were busy or had other plans.



anyways we went to eat at one of those hk-style 茶餐厅! abit over-priced but oh wells....how often would i go there to eat. wanted to watch a movie but there are no nice movies which i haven't watched ( i mean they are showing movies like balls of fury?!?!). in the end, we just decided not to watch movie, no point wasting money on rubbish that we don't enjoy....

soooooooo....we went to k ge! haha....we all went very very high!!!! (except cheryl and caro, i guess....they're not cheenafied enough....) must go again!!!! i left too early lah (all that cello lesson's fault...hmph) nevermind....wait for gerielle to finish her promos then say. oh yes and when addy comes back too!

went out again today (or rather yesterday) to buy presents! went with cheryl, yueling, suat, wenyan and veron. caro was suppose to come too but she had to see a doctor...oh wells. we split up to buy the presents...so we bought persents for suat and wenyan too! poor thing....bday smack in the middle of promos, but then again, they are both soooooooooo smart. haha. went to far east to buy the stuff. love the clothes there man! but probably wouldn't wear them for various reasons.

so now i'm tired and broke. sigh. and there's cca tomorrow....sigh. I WANT MARKING DAY!!!

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