Don't mind me as I ramble on about mindless things! ^^

Jane. Child of GOD. Slacker medic. Part-time 'housewife', full-time watcher of dramas and variety shows. Ex-handbeller, occasional cellist, casual pianist. Who knows what else?

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sometimes, one wonders what all that mindless pursuing is for. perhaps it's driven by the need to be ahead of someone. maybe it's a problem with the ego that does not what to be bruised in any way. or it could be to stop people from blabbering on and on, reaching that goal just to please them.

either way....i'm tired of it all. bleh.

it's an unforgiving world. one wrong step and BHAM! the rest of your life plus all the hard work that you put in previously all gone. poof! vanished into thin air. just look at the markets now: if you knowingly/unknowingly invested your retirement fund/life savings/extra cash, etc into some doomed bank/investment scheme, you can jolly well say adieu to your moo-lah...

haiz...actually i'm just tired of studying, so i go online to talk rubbish.

i guess i've got an ambivalent attitude towards my studies. a love-hate relationship if you like. it's come to the point where i just mug for the sake of mugging. what? there's suppose to be something called 'the joy of learning' interspersed in studying? oh...never heard of that.

ya. i'll probably go and bash my head against the wall if i have to study anymore today.


on a totally different note, i personally think that the diploma thingy is fei and they're thinking too highly of themselves. how typically egocentric of such people to harbour such thoughts.

and on yet another totally different thread, my calves hurt like mad....hahahahahhahaha. i must be crazy to go up and down so many times...

oh my oh my oh my....this is SOOOOOOO not happening. wasn't it sent? why is it still languishing at that stage? like....she said she'll send it. like....ohmy. and i just messed up BEEEEEEEEEEG time. i didn't realise you can't freaking sign yourself up for it. like...wt. oh my ohmy ohmy. maybe i'm not suppose to go there in the 1st place. *breaks out in cold sweat.* it feels as though someone put his/her cold, clammy hand around my heart, squeezing it but for a moment, yet, that heart-stopping moment feels like eternity. can't do anything about it, which leaves me with no choice but to dao and tell my parents later. wonder whether i would still apply for it if it wasn't for the fact that my parents were advocating this path to take. no, don't think so. more like they impose an idea on me and i try to find ways to validate their choice/decision. hahahaha...i've done a good job convincing everyone around me that i really want it, except myself. honestly, do i really see myself doing it? maybe not. but then again, i can only visualise myself slacking around, watching shows, shopping and not working....doesn't really sound like something i can study for in the future. hahahhahahaha.

cry. but who would pity me anyway, it IS my own darn fault. if it was a time not too long ago, i would have immediately turned there for a good, long wail. but that was the past. once bitten, twice shy. i was looking at the fish bowl then, but i've since woken up to the fact that there's a whole ocean out there. yet....even with the 'realist' part of me in the driver's seat, why is 'THAT thing' the 1st thought that pops into my mind when i really need to let out a good moan? urgh....my conscience is disgusted.

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