Don't mind me as I ramble on about mindless things! ^^

Jane. Child of GOD. Slacker medic. Part-time 'housewife', full-time watcher of dramas and variety shows. Ex-handbeller, occasional cellist, casual pianist. Who knows what else?

July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 April 2010 May 2010 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 January 2011 February 2011 March 2011 April 2011 May 2011 June 2011 July 2011 August 2011 September 2011 October 2011 November 2011 December 2011 January 2012 February 2012 March 2012 April 2012 May 2012 June 2012 August 2012 September 2012 October 2012 November 2012 December 2012 January 2013 February 2013 March 2013 April 2013 May 2013 August 2013 September 2013 November 2013 April 2014 June 2014 July 2014 November 2014 January 2015 March 2015 April 2015 May 2015

mghandbells:) HCSE:) 07s75:)
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wow. WOW. wow. i didn't watch olympics today!!!!!!!!! major achievement for this tv addict. ok ok...fine, i admit to watching a few track events. that usain bolt is seriously insane and like a lightning bolt. he was seriously laxing for the last 20 or so metres of his 200m heats, of course, he still won that heats. IMBA.

other than that, the day was pretty uneventful. chem was fun though, surprisingly enough. boy vs girl thing (again.) and the pairings thingy was pretty amusing (and totally expected...except for a few...) i bet it's an evil ploy by the chem 'cher to positively confirm the class scandals....hahahahha....joking lah....don't think he's that scheming ba. random photo-taking after that: fun! =)

tried and failed. i can't believe myself. everything seems to be blaring at me to turn back, return, stop 'going back to wallow in mud', yet...ARGH. no...don't EVER let my heart be hardened to HIS soft prompting. NEVER. ever single message i hear, every precious word i read, all the hymns and spiritual songs i sing (esp that poignantly touching choir song-lead me back. could totally relate to it when i first heard it), every sharing....they all seem to send the same signal: stop trying to live that double life and let God take control of it. goodness, i knew it would be a slippery slope the moment i made that decision-and i still did it. lived my life the way i wanted to. help. it's been going from bad to worse after a couple of incidents and as time progresses. jane is totally not fit to be a worthy ambassador for HIM and definitely not fit to lead a group of younger ones. totally. absolutely. 100% sure. a stumbling-block more like. MUST JUST LEAVE EVERY SINGLE PART OF MY LIFE TO THE HANDS OF THE CREATOR. truly, only HE knows what is the best. i hate myself for trying to wrestle control with HIM for my life....and screwing up soooo sooooo badly. ya. i admit it. i've totally messed it up. i've changed quite a fair bit since sec sch, no more goody-2-shoes. that inner rebellious streak has come out of hibernation and (as my email says...) has been unleashed. argh. totally terrible.

shall stop ranting on the same thread. moving on to a dif one? maybe. just feel very sad sometimes lah. how everything crumbles after a while, further enforcing the point that everything here is temporal, that people should be seeking after eternal treasures instead. no....i'm not talking about money, more about situations, interactions and ties that (occasionally) bind. haiz. just give me 2 minutes (and a freaking lot of courage), maybe, just maybe, it might stop everything? yah...i should just face it man, i'm not as imba as some people at hiding personal secrets. no wait....i suck at it. should just go and duct-tape my mouth sometimes, along with throwing the tv and com down the rubbish bin. man........those are my vices. hahahahahah. talk, watch, surf. darn them. stupid verbs....argh. table tennis men's team finals is going on outside lah....i wanna watch man! see what i mean by 'vices'...

does it hurt you as much as it pains me? maybe not, you're probably stronger than me. jane=weakling, noob.

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