random musings about studies and whatever pops into my head
"you mean blocks ended on the monday that just past? it felt as though it ended a few weeks ago and that we've been having lessons since forever...." i share the same sentiments too man....why does 3 days of school feel so sian lah...like as though i didn't have a holiday (even though i obviously had a very very long and slack holiday....)
I WILL STOP PROCRASTINATING!!! soon. hahahahahaha....the irony of such a statement. but honestly, i'm banking on my prelims ALOT, that means that i better start mugging now or something. oh....and i must hurry up go and write my cards....farewell's on sun. oops...blatant usage of singlish in that last line. hahaha...HECK LAH. not like i'm writing gp compo...
speaking of schoolwork, we kinda got some marks back. obviously, i don't expect to do very well since i honestly didn't put in enough effort and i do believe that we reap what we sow. 活该lah....who ask me to be such a lazy procrastinator and don't study? had a major improvement for math, from failing last bts to passing this one. not bad considering that i really didn't do at least 25marks worth...hahah....i can't believe that i actually counted. of course, it does help that the test was a little, itsy bitsy bit easier. then i was a bit shocked for gp, not bad given my sucky english and lack of variety in sentence structure. taiko lah...and i'm better at writing econs-ish topics for gp. all i could do was smile sheepishly (especially when i TOTALLY DAOED gp. unless looking at essay outlines during breakfast on the day of the exam is considered mugging. haha)
eeee....that para is so long, but i digress. got back the dreaded chem today. sian diao....i really DID screw up paper 3 really badly. yeah, it was a combi of all the reasons mentioned in a previous post...i know when i'll fail lah. not literally fail lah, just not attaining the best result i can get. (it's my bad habit of considering underacheiving as failing. in a sense, it's a good habit if it motivates you, but it puts me under immense stress to perform my best every single time...gahhh) i don't know how i managed to taiko out a relatively ok mark for mcq...maybe breaking out in cold sweat, hyperventilating and tikam-ing correctly helped. i dread paper 2...i'm quite sure i'll fail that paper really badly. don't wanna get other marks back....=(
but i must admit that the Lord was merciful enough not to punish me too much for not studying. i was relying on His strength throughout the whole thing....coz i obviously can't rely on my own pathetic self. i'm bound to fail if i did. still, I WILL MUG LIKE SIAO THIS TERM!!! i mean, you can't be lazy, don't mug at all and expect God to give you the answers with a snap of the finger....sheesh. it doesn't work this way.
i shall go back to writing cards....wanted to do it yesterday but the pull of hanakimi was too strong to resist. hahahaha....at least i finished watching the whole series (at like around 4am...i'm crazy lah. school day somemore, i wanted to sleep during bio lecture since i've learnt it before...) so that's 1 down, 9 more shows to go! hahaha....suat's answer to my bio teacher that day chao funny lah! she was saying how she attempts to work away her mental blocks by watching tv (or rather, her taiwanese/korean/jap dramas...) when choong said it was a bad way to attempt to relax. then suat said something about chionging through the rest of her shows now so that she wouldn't be distracted during prelims. hahahahahahahaha.....i think choong was a bit shocked, the 'sighs and shakes head' kind of thing....hahahahahahahaha.
nevermind, i shall just go on being random. i didn't realise that SATs was upon 2400 until yesterday. i have NO IDEA why i keep thinking that it's upon 2600 even when there's only 3 components, each upon 800. OH, WAIT A SEC, I REMEMBER! i thought that the essay that's upon 12 was converted to be upon 200, so when you add 200 to 800x3sections, you get 2600! hahahahahah...it's quite obvious that i didn't bother studying and looking at the format for this thingy man. hahahaha. oh....so my sats score isn't that horrible after all. well, anything would seem less terrible if the total mark is decreased by 200...hahahahah
oh yes....HAPPY BDAY AHDIAN! i can remember her bday super well coz it falls on america's independence day, among other reasons...
i should go to sleep now....it's incredibly late. as usual...jane and her screwed circadian clock XD
some people are sooooooooooo annoying! please continue to spam me man...i hate having to seive through everything just to see the relevant stuff. i'm trying to be polite by actually replying you (why the heck do i bother? oh yes....coz it's only polite and civil to do so). i hate that feeling of being b___-s____ by you. it used to bother me soooooooooo much that i would have to curb my foe (it's an acronym, go figure.), but now, i don't care! still, i will lag and get super turned off when i see evidence of what you are doing. ARGH. must curb anger. must try to forgive and forget. MUST CHILL.......i think i'm a very fake person. so much for my new year resolution to stop being hypocritical. i just try to hide my real feelings by acting totally opposite to what i would have liked to do to people who bother me (the 'bother' has both positive and negative connotations. 'bother' as in annoying people and 'bother' as in people i really want to care for and take a vested interest in, ie i really bother to care about them...hahah. it's chao obvious liao lah, quite unneccesary to make it more duh. why the heck am i explaining myself? haiz) of course, to my other friends that don't fall into these 2 categories, what you see is what you get. (like i'm really really happy and high inwardly and outwardly to the vast majority.) ok...so maybe i'm mainly true to myself, except to these 2 particular groups of people. why the heck am i like that? i must be suffering from some personality disorder or something....haiz. take the case in the first para for example, i try to hide my extreme annoyance by being nice, polite and accomodating, even if i'm seething with anger inside . ohmy....i can't even stand myself. i'm damn fake. of course, the other extreme is to be cold and sullen to someone that i really really care about due to many many reasons. like i would occasionally suffer a relapse, get hooked on my 'addiction' and stuff. ok, maybe it's not really a major addiction, just that i do like to go and indulge in it occasionally. fine, it's more an obsession than anything. but i'm not daft enough to go and leave traces of evidence behind, it's just that what i see really makes me chao saddddddd....=( especially when i start to think too much and (due to my stupid obsession of liking to hide my true self. why the heck do i keep doing that?) feel as though i'm unable to do anything. or rather, things are such that i'm either too scared or not given the opportunity to do stuff that could possibly change the situation. either way, i feel helpless as i watch it all unravel in front of my eyes. would things have been different if i my personality was different? maybe, and maybe not. i should like to think that if i was more true to myself, more passionate about certain stuff and more daring, things would not have turned out this way. hahaha....some optimism from a pessimist. ahahhahha. i envy mizuki. (i can't sp jap names properly...argh.) she knows what she wants to acheive and is not scared to do it, even if sano is totally in a 'can you please freaking myob? go away. leave me alone' state of mind. fine....i just envy those who possess what i do not have. shall try to stop being a fakey to certain groups of people.
POSTED BY mysticmalady AT 12:06 AM |
◄ Older posts
Newer posts ►
Back to the top
0 Comments