Lost in thoughts

some random musings....

Thursday, April 24, 2008 making-sweetness

my friend commented that i blog very regularly and thought that i'm quite free. hahahahhahaha....more like have a lot of things to do, but don't feel like doing it. XD jane is a lazy girl. i'm always using random excuses to justify my usage of the computer. ahahahaha. but i usually try to blog when i do use the com. it's an outlet for self-expression i guess. i think i'm a pretty introspective person, forever pondering about my life and all that. alot of things go through my mind thru the course of the day, just that i don't remember much of it. hahahaha....XP whatever makes it to my blog are just remnants of what i remember thinking about, of course with a lot of editing to make it less _____. i'm not about to reveal my innermost feelings on the internet, but this is as close as it gets. XP

argh....i'm suppose to study for h3 again. but it really really puts me to sleep leh! bio-related notes should be marketed as a cure for insomnia, it works as well (if not better) than any drug you can get over the counter. hahahahahaha...i'm being lame and exaggerating stuff again. but it's seriously super boring...=( why must i study it.......=( less than 2 wks to go....

oh...i like this emo song! but i'm not emo-ing k! i admit that the words are pretty straight forward and '白', but then again, my chinese isn't that good either. i like the tune =)

终于说出口-小宇

你终于说出口其实你早就已经不爱我
为什么要低著头你知道这玩笑骗不倒我
可是这不是玩笑是要逃避你离开我的理由

**我还能做什么你已经不爱我
我一直都爱著你难道这还不够
我还要做什么你才不离开我
我知道你已无心再继续看著我

一心想离开我

我终于也说出口其实很爱你但从没认真说过
或许是我的错多在乎你却只放在心中
不要问我为什么因为爱你这就是我的理由

**

没什么需要被原谅我笑得有些牵强
你知道我总是能够假装不难过
oh 不想看你那么累多希望再给我机会
颤抖著我的手握住的只是风

**
一心想离开我

and you could hear the song here.....it's quite new i guess. kind of....but it's 1 of the more popular songs to k in taiwan. http://www.qq163.com/song/6096/81182.htm this is utterly random, but his dreadlocks are quite weird though, looks like he hasn't washed it for days. hahahahahahahah

很乱....他是在说我吗？每当我看到_ _ _ _ _，满脑子就会想到这个问题。那时候是这样子，现在还是一样。我曾答应自己不能再为了cough cough 事情难过，也不要想那么多，但我办不到。真的办不到。也可能是我自己自作多情，真的不知道....argh, this is so 'primary school standard'. there's an evident lack of depth and vocabulary. even i find my chinese appalling, so i shall switch back to english now. not that it is very much better....hahaha. anyways, i'm just a small fry, an insignificant part of anyone's life. a passer-by, someone forgettable. very forgettable. 我没什么优点，但至少还有点自知之明。hahahahahaha. yar, that's about the only good point about me. now, i'm honestly stuck in a limbo now. hate this awkward silence, but.... argh. i hate to admit it but....it's just so weird. i still take note of some stuff, involuntarily want certain stuff to happen and just cannot delete some stuff from that brain of mine. yeps, my brains full of stuff. i'm emotional but rational. wow, this sounds so contradictary. emotionally, i haven't changed one bit. i'm still that same sentimental, soft-hearted romantist with terrible fluctuating business-cycles for feelings (ie, it goes in a roller-coaster manner. up then down then up, so on and so forth). of course, if this shows in my actions, then people would say i'm PMSing whenever i'm down. hahahahaha. so, must be rational and minimise showing my true feelings outright lah! going high or being super cold is just a way of hiding the fact that i'm not all that ____. has a 'cancelling' effect. =) it's only natural i guess, a certain instinct to hide some bits of you from the world. i don't know what's coming over me again. cannot emo. i shall drown myself in work again....hahaha

POSTED BY mysticmalady AT 11:45 PM |

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