Don't mind me as I ramble on about mindless things! ^^

Jane. Child of GOD. Slacker medic. Part-time 'housewife', full-time watcher of dramas and variety shows. Ex-handbeller, occasional cellist, casual pianist. Who knows what else?

July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 April 2010 May 2010 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 January 2011 February 2011 March 2011 April 2011 May 2011 June 2011 July 2011 August 2011 September 2011 October 2011 November 2011 December 2011 January 2012 February 2012 March 2012 April 2012 May 2012 June 2012 August 2012 September 2012 October 2012 November 2012 December 2012 January 2013 February 2013 March 2013 April 2013 May 2013 August 2013 September 2013 November 2013 April 2014 June 2014 July 2014 November 2014 January 2015 March 2015 April 2015 May 2015

mghandbells:) HCSE:) 07s75:)
addy! alfred! anthea! baoxia! changjie! cherry! cheryl! clement! faye! fidelia! gail! honghui! jasvir! jiamin! jianan! jolyn! keene! krystle! mabel! monica! monkey! natalie! nerissa! nicholas! nicole! priscilla! ruijun! samantha! stephanie! suern! thomas! tiffany! veronica! wanxian! yingpeng! yiren! yuchuan! yudian!

Layout coded by F-lyingheartsx3.
Resources taken from angelicxmelody, Making-Sweetness, Enakei.
Inspiration from SiPei.
Layout fully coded by me. I didn't use basecodes, just code references.

my mood is about as good as the weather now for various reasons. had a B day today and no it doesn't stand for birthday. got math and econs back. could have done better for math, i'm only missing that overall a by i think 2 measly marks! econs was ok overall, think i can get b overall. shall calculate later after dinner.

Warning: the rest of this is all quite emo and written at the spur of the moment. jane shall not be held accountable for any emotion triggered after reading it and shall not entertain any responses pertaining to it either. in fact, don't bother reading it. it's just written to get some stuff out of my mind, possibly written illogically and it's so small and similar to the colour of my background. it's not worth spoiling your eyes for. haha

been meaning to write this for some time now, but never really got down to it. however, i really need to get some things off my chest now and not think about it so much. i think too much i guess. just felt like posting it now anyway...haha....it's so oxymoron. i want to post it, yet i don't want others to read it.

sometimes i ask myself 'am i being to cruel?', 'am i just thinking too much?', 'why do i even bother?', 'what/who is the real me? or have i been living under the protective cover of a mask all this time...' . either way it's been sort of troubling me for some time now, i think ever since blocks, but i've been trying to deny it's existence and chucking it into some long forgotten corner of my mind. but it has been bugging me sometimes and accumulating in that small corner until it's actually become more significant lately. i never thought i'll be so affected by such a situation, but i am. haha....so much for being over-confident of my own resilience in dealing with such situations.

i'm sort of tiptoeing the line between two (seemingly) vastly different feelings that are actually separated by a very thin line. one moment, i'm feeling this way, the other moment, it's the complete opposite. like something being blown in the wind. weee! like real. it's just plain emotional turmoil....i never like roller coasters very much....

sometimes, i just wished i never went to hc. maybe it wouldn't happen. i hate it, yet.... i don't really know why too but i just can't help it. sometimes the logical part of me takes charge and i'll give curt responses. actaully, a part of me just can't bear to do that. i don't know why. i hate that new situation for causing all this questions popping up in my head. i can't stand it. yet, i would just breakdown if i'm forced to forget it coz i was well.....quite....i don't know....happy? i don't know anything. i don't want to know anything.

what to do? can only pray about it ba....commit everything to God in prayer right? i'm being incoherent and extremely illogical liao....ignore me please

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